Dai Sun and Betty Chang (Marcia's Dad and Mom)

     

    Of course, I only knew mom and dad as Mom and Daddy.  My experience with them started when I was born and maybe not until I was 2 or 3 did I figure out they were separate from me.  These are memories beginning with my childhood.

     Mom was the stay-home mom who could do every and anything.  She was a wonderful cook, which I took for granted. I thought all women could cook like her.  Aren’t we born with that ability?  She was a seamstress who sewed all our clothes and patched and fixed everything of cloth.  When old enough, she taught us daughters to sew.  Diane became a professional seamstress/designer, Lorrie owned a dress shop, and I sewed PJs for my grandchildren.

     Dad could fix anything…TV, washers, windows, plumbing.  He was the Do It Yourself Man.  Anytime something didn’t work we’d called “Daddy!”  If a toy fell apart or the faucet in the bathroom didn’t work, Daddy could fix it.  I loved to look into his toolbox and play with all the tools.  He gave me the job of separating the screws from the nails.  That’s how I learned the difference.

     Mom and Dad were a team.  Mom would be there to help him when he was building something, fixing something, or doing chores like pulling weeds, and cleaning the backyard.  He did wash and polish the car by himself.  She was his “helper” on electrical jobs or on anything that needed nimble fingers.  He was her “helper” in carrying anything heavy, climbing up for things, and even mopping the floors. 

     Mom didn’t drive, so anything that was out of the home that could not be done via, bus, dad drove and took her even if he had to wait in the car for a few hours.  He would take her to the hairdresser, wait at the dentist, and take her grocery shopping.  They had “his” and “her” jobs but they helped each other.

     They rarely argued in front of us, even as we were grown.  Their differences were always taken care of privately.  We would know they disagreed on some action but then found out who won by the results.  One thing I can say for them was that if his way was wrong, he would say “I should have listened to you.”  If her choice was wrong, she would say “I should have listened to you.”  They owned up to their mistakes and good decisions.  If they made a wrong decision, both would work out the consequences.  Never do I remember a time they left the other to stew in their own juice.

   They were never physically combatant, or verbally abusive.  They might complain but never abusive. Dad used to say he would not use cussing language in the home because he had three daughters to protect.  Neither of them swore or used profanity.  Dad never paraded around the house undressed.  The most undressed we ever saw was in his swimming trunks at the beach. 

     Dad volunteered to help people a lot.  Mom would sometimes complain but she would be right there at his side.  He volunteered to fix someone’s kitchen or patio roof, or redo some electrical issue.  We always had someone’s lamp, television, toaster, or appliance in the back patio waiting to be fixed.

     Mom always made sure there were meals on the table.  It was only after we girls had grown and moved away from home, do I remember they ever going out to eat by themselves. Restaurant dining was a luxury that we only did on special occasions like birthdays.  On our birthday, we could order anything we wanted.  The hamburger steak was an expensive meal.  We didn’t miss going out to eat because mom was such a good cook, everything she made was better.

     There was a time when mom was very sick.  She had headaches and varicose veins so she could not walk.  She suffered through.  Every night dad would massage her legs, her neck, and head. Over time, she was healed. Although she tried to keep going, at times it was impossible to keep up the house.  My aunts (her sisters) would come over to help as we were in elementary school then.  Aunties were loving and helpful but not as good a Mom.  They could not cook like her.  As we got older, Dad told us we three girls had to help.  We did.  I think that’s when I learned how to do housekeeping, cooking, and cleaning.

     Mom took care of the budgeting while Dad worked the long hours.  I remember mom pouring over budget sheets in the evening figuring out how to have all the bills paid and yet have enough for food.  She was a good cook knowing how to cook cheap nutritious meals.  Again, we took that for granted.

     Mom and Dad gave up personal pleasures for us to have orthodontia, private school education, and college.  I remember mom saving for a new kitchen table then ended up spending it on something we needed.  She didn’t hold it against us but just said “There goes my kitchen table.”  They were careful with money but generous with their time and talent.

     Both grew up in depression years so were very frugal and saved everything.  We learned to save milk cartons, rubber bands, plastic bags, and anything reusable.  While cleaning out the Kanewai house, we found Mom’s wedding gifts in the attic that she was saving for special occasions, still in the original boxes.  At one point, when Dad was already 85 years old he didn’t want to purchase a luxury item because he was saving for his “old age.”

     I did not spend my adult life with them as I went away to graduate school and never returned to live at home.  They agreed to take out a loan for me to go to graduate school.  Out-of-state-tuition, tuition, dorms, and airfare was expensive.  When I landed a position as a Resident Assistant at the University of Illinois, they returned the loan as everything was covered by the university.  They did co-sign for me to purchase my first car.  They said my annual pay of my first teaching job paid more than dad ever made in a year his whole career as an electrician.  They were proud since they gave me the educational opportunity.

     Dad retired while I was away living in California so did not witness the radical change in their lives.  While I was in college, mom started work at Sears. She was no longer the stay-home-mom.  She dressed differently, she had a new purpose, new friends, and new interests.  She could still cook and sew but that was not her focus anymore. 

     Before my marriage, I spent two months with my parents preparing for the wedding.  Mom and I made my wedding gown.  We planned the guest list, the reception, and the details of the wedding,  That was the last time we spent any extended time together.  When I told them I was marrying Rich, there was some skepticism because he was Caucasian.  They always assumed I would marry a Chinese fellow.  This rocked their world a bit.  I had decided to marry Rich regardless of their position.  My sister Lorrie convinced them that accepting this marriage would let them enjoy their future grandchildren.  That was the winning ticket.

     When Charles was born, both Mom and Dad came to California to stay with us for a month to care for the baby, me, and the household.  Charles was by Cesarian section so I needed help.  They were invaluable.  They stayed near the house as neither could drive in CA.    Eighteen months later, James was adopted and I underwent surgery for a hysterectomy.  Again they came for a month to help.  With two babies I needed them.  Dad would fix things around the house and help clean, and Mom would take care of the babies, meals, and laundry.

     During the first 8 years of our marriage, we went to Hawaii for Christmas or in the summertime to vacation with them.  After we had 3 children over 2 years old, airfare was expensive so we brought them to California instead. 

     Then they started traveling.  They enjoyed a ballroom dancing class for seniors.  They had new freedom, new friends, and went on cruises together.  They traveled through Asia, the USA, the Caribbean, and even Europe.  They would also come to visit us in CA.  When we traveled to China for three weeks, they came to care for our children who were still young.  Dad ventured out to drive but the children could not direct him to their favorite restaurants.  Although I left detailed instructions for the acting classes, road detours threw him off.  If they had GPS in those days, it would have made life so much easier.

     They attend each of our children’s college graduations.  We took them to San Francisco for Stephanie’s college graduation.  They rode in our van with us and put up with roughing it in motels. 

     When they were 75 years old, Rich and I took them camping in Kings Canyon National Park.  They had never been camping so we thought we would give them the experience.  We got a large 5 man tent for them and outfitted it with an air mattress, lounge chairs, rugs, etc.  After we set up camp, they insisted on sleeping in our van, where we were going to sleep because they were afraid bears would come and it would be too dangerous.  At their insistence, we gave them the van and we took the luxury tent.

     At Christmas 2004, mom had a second open-heart surgery.  Lorrie called me to help as my sister Diane had the flu and Lorrie had to keep her dress shop open over the Christmas holidays.  I took the next flight out to Honolulu which happened to be New Year's eve.  The island lit up with fireworks as I flew in just before midnight. What a sight!  Mom was still in the hospital and would be discharged in a day or so.  Dad and I talked and went out for dinners.  I asked him how he felt about mom dying if that happened.  His answer was, “If that happens, then it does.  I can’t stop it.”  He never shared any other thoughts with me.  Mom made it through and I stayed for 2 weeks nursing her and looking out for Dad.  The roles were reversed.  I was taking care of them.

     I was working at Chase Mortgage at that time so took this time as my vacation.  When I returned 3 weeks later, I was laid off.  I was bummed for about 24 hours, then felt freedom.  I was wrestling with possible retirement but now they decided for me. I got severance pay and unemployment for a year.

     Their last trip to the mainland was for Stephanie’s wedding in 2005.  They stayed at our house for pre and post-wedding events.  Since the wedding was at our home on Overhill Drive, Mom wanting to help kept cooking and cleaning even when I asked her to sit down and relax.  We were having visitors, so she was always “working” to make things hospitable.  Dad, by then, was slowing down, taking naps, and just enjoying things. 

     On the day before the wedding, we were putting up the Hoopa canopy on the front lawn.  It kept falling.  The engineering in our head was right but not the reality.  The slope on the lawn was a problem.  Dad sat on a stool outside and directed us on what to do.  Following his instructions, the Hoopa went up and held steady.  At the wedding, Steph honored their 63 years of marriage with the anniversary waltz.  I think that was the last time they danced.  They could not dance during their years at Hawaii Kai because as dad said, “The brain knew the steps, but the feet wouldn’t go.”

     Mom and Daddy lived at 1285 Kanewai Street for 60+ years until they moved to Hawaii Kai, assisted living.  Because dad could no longer drive at age 88, they became prisoners of the house.  Although Mom resisted moving, Dad decided it was time, so she went.  After a year, she admitted it was the best thing for them.  They had their own large 1 bedroom apartment with all the services of meals, cleaning, medical attention, and friends included.  After 2 years there, they sold the Kanewai Street house which allowed them to live comfortably for more years than they could ever hope for.

     The last big event with them was Charles’ Wedding, Aug 18. 2010 at the Moana Hotel.  We had difficulty getting Dad there are he needed a wheelchair but Mom could walk.  Charles honored them at the wedding with ringside seats.  Unfortunately, Dad could not last through all the festivities and went home early but Mom stayed to the end of the evening.

     While in Hawaii for that occasion, I was able to spend a few moments with dad alone to tell him I loved him and it was ok to go home to the Lord when he was ready.  He agreed.  He was 94 and very tired and weak.  Four months later he made his exit.

     I will admit the most difficult years with them were the later years while I was in California, hearing the stories from my sister Lorrie.  Bless her for doing all she did.  I always supported her as much as I could.

     It was good they were at Hawaii Kai assisted living, for after Dad passed, they took care of Mom and she still had friends in the staff and the residents.  Many were aged too so they too were dying.  In July of 2011, I with Stephanie, and James, and great-grandchildren, Aidan and Maddie, went to visit her for the last time to celebrate her 93’rd birthday.  It was a quiet family-only luncheon.  The great-grandchildren called them Tai Po and Tai Goong.

     Mom had another heart episode but passed up any further surgery which she believed she would not survive.  She remembered the pain and the difficult recovery of that last two when she was younger.  She passed quietly on Sept 1, 2011.

     We had wonderful parents who taught us right from wrong, honor and respect.  They encouraged and spurred us into success.  They sacrificed so we could have a better life and their efforts paid off.  We three daughters are successful, accomplished women because of them.

FIRE ESCAPE

   In September 2020, Rich’s sister Nancy sent us an email telling us she had to evacuate from the Glass Fire zone in Sonoma County.  The fire was close but they were safe.  This is the 3^rd time in a year they had to evacuate. 

 This jarred my memories of fleeing fires in the Tustin Hills.

 The first incident was in 1980 when I emerged from an afternoon chorale rehearsal at Foothill High school.  The skies were gray, smoke in the air, and ash falling like snow.  I had no idea there was a fire nearby.  As I walked to the parking lot, I saw Rich and the kids waiting for me. 

     He said, “We had to evacuate.  There’s a fire in the canyon back of our house.” 

I was dumbfounded.  He had made arrangements with friends who lived nearby for us to go there to wait it out.  There was no television to watch the fire progress. 

          Later that evening, we were cleared to return home.  The air was smokey.  Fortunately, we did not have smoke damage inside the house as Rich had closed all the windows.  As we looked over the canyon, we could see the fence posts and tree stumps glowing in the dark.  The next morning we saw the extent of the burn which was on the far side of the stream toward a eucalyptus grove.  After this, we installed double-paned windows to keep out any future smoke damage.

 

The Modjeska Canyon fire was the second threat (1993?).  The sky was filled with ash and smoke.  We were not required to evacuate but there was no telling which way the wind would blow the embers.  We were on alert.  James, a high school student at the time, was home with me so the two of us watered the shake roof. He watered from the front and I, from the back.  We did the best we could with our garden hoses and pressure nozzles.  Fortunately, the fire did not spread our way.  Whew! Afterward, we installed an asphalt roof.

 

The third incident was in 2007 when we were in Xian China as Global Volunteers.  Because James and I shared a family plan cell phone account, a call would be free, if there were an emergency. Of course, I said “emergency only.”  I would keep my cell phone active.  One evening my cell rang. My heart jumped when I saw he was calling.

          He said, “Mom, there’s a fire in the canyon and you might have to evacuate.  What do you want Steph and me to take out of the house?  Where are the car keys so we can drive the cars out?” 

At first, I could not believe what I was hearing.  Maria was house sitting with the dog and she would be in danger.  The only thing I could think of was my computer with all the family information and the irreplaceable family photos.

“…and anything else you think important,” I told him.

          Rich and I had to ponder, “What would it be like if our house burned down while we were in China. We would come home to a burned-out house!”  We scoured the TV for news in English.  We could only find world news.  No world news program was going to report on a fire in Tustin, CA.  We just had to wait.  Another text from James came saying, “I’ve packed the van ready to go.”  He attached a photo taken from our back patio showing the fire on the Peter’s Canyon hill.  It was real! 

          The next morning at breakfast we told our team our latest news.  Some asked if we were going to rush home.  We decided there was nothing we could do by rushing home.  If the fire moved closer, the house would already be up in smoke by now.

Fortunately, the wind blew the fire up the hillside away from the homes.  At that time, there were no homes in danger.  When we returned home, the van was still packed and we saw what James and Steph thought to be important.  They gathered photos from all over the house, and some antique items, some with keepsake value. Greatly relieved, we unpacked the van.

 

The fourth time was in 2017 when the fire started in Orange Park Acres, about five miles away.  The sky was filled with smoke and warnings were sent out.  Rich and I packed the van and our cars.  The street access to our area was blocked for only residents and fire personnel.  At about 1 PM we were told to evacuate.  We went to James’ house in the flatlands of Orange off Tustin.  This time, there was TV news coverage constantly.

By 5 pm we could see the fire raging through the canyon.  By 6 PM we watched the airdrop of pink fire retardant.  The aerial view showed firemen putting out a hotspot on the backside of the hill just off our property.  We recognized our house.  There was a fire truck parked on our driveway and one on the street.  By nightfall, we could only see flames as we hoped our house was spared.  We spent the night at James’ where they gave us their bedroom and they took the sofas.

In the morning, we saw a smoldering canyon on television but we were still not allowed back into the area until 3 PM.  Homes near the canyon floor got scorched but our house was safe on the hill.

When we returned home, we saw where the hot spot was put out—about 120 feet from the house.  The 100-foot back yard hose was extended all the way.  We were told firemen camped out on our patio to keep an eye on the house.  Bless them!  The next day I took the dog for a walk around the neighborhood to survey the damage.  Fire trucks were still patrolling the area and several houses on the edge of the canyon suffered serious damage.  None completely burned down but the repair would be extensive.  Other houses were covered with pink retardant.

         Fire damage comes with the territory of living in wilderness areas.  We experienced the possibility of everything you own will be taken.  It makes you assess what is valuable in life.  The insurance would cover the “things” but you have to hang on to each other and God. 

         Fire is the most serious threat to living there. We have had bobcats, coyotes, deer, skunks, raccoons, and other fauna including rats and termites.  We were blessed the 41 years we lived there.  The vegetation in the park has grown back and is beautiful.  Our grandchildren are now enjoying the pleasures of living on the canyon.

 

Our lives through the eyes of our guests from China.

     In October 2007, Rich and I spent 3 weeks in Xian, China teaching conversational English in a school in Xianyang.  We had an hour’s commute each way every day with a driver and a local English teacher escort.  Our escort Kim Wang managed to commandeer the assignment because her husband’s business was in Xian where they lived and she was teaching in Xianyang at Rainbow School.  Because she was our daily escort, she was able to spend nights in Xian and be at the school with us during the day.  On the weekend, she and her husband were our weekend tour guides. He drove. She explained.  We had a wonderful time and got to know her quite well.

             In the summer of 2008, Kim and her family came to the USA to visit for 7 weeks and stayed most of the time in our home.  Kim, her husband, Jason, her sister, Nying, Alex (age 12), and Ben (age 20 college student) all stayed here in our Overhill Drive home. 

 We saw our lives through their eyes.  These were the comments and wonders.

 HOME FRONT:

 1.    A home in the Tustin Hills is paradise.  It’s so quiet. The air is clean and fresh, We can walk on the streets without bumping into 50 other people. The scenery is so beautiful with bright colors. There is a huge garden around the house. 

2. Dishwasher: This is a machine that washes dishes automatically in less than an hour.  Put the dirty dishes in and they come out clean?

 

3. Washing machine: The clothes go in dirty and actually come out clean!  We must wash the clothes by hand first to make them clean.

 

4. Where do you hang the clothes to dry?  There is a machine that dries the clothes in 20-30 min and the clothes come out fluffy!

 

5. You have pots you don’t have to scrub because the food does not stick?

 

6. Toaster oven—how do you use that?
   
   
   

 

7. You can bake a cake so quickly?  What is a cake mix? An electric mixer saves your arm from aching and falling off.

 

8. We have only heard of apple pie but never tasted one.  Now we helped make one.  Could not imagine how to make one.

 

9. These are called donuts?  We never had them before.  Why do they have a hole?

 

10. Oatie, the dog, lives in the house like one of the people?

 

11. Is it really ok to flush used toilet paper down the toilet?

 

12. Homemade lemonade from lemons on your tree in the garden.

 

13. Fresh squeezed orange juice for breakfast.  You have a machine to squeeze them?

 

14. Homemade nectarine jam on toast.  How do you make that?

 

15. Eating breakfast outdoors on the patio with fresh air and no bugs.

 

16. A blender to make bread crumbs.

 

17. The coffee maker has an on/off switch.  You don’t have to watch it?

 

18. The wonders of a cordless can opener.  Just hold the handle.  How easy!

 

19. The refrigerator keeps fruit for more than 1 day after its cut.

 

20. It’s ok to freeze bread?

 

21. An electric food chopper can grate and chop in seconds.

 

22. Waffles—Special machine to cook in waffle shape.

 

23. Pancakes that rise and are fluffy.

 

24. Teach us American western table manners.  How do I properly use a fork, knife, and spoon?  How do you set a western table?

 

25. The closet pantry looks like a store.

 

26. The trash is picked up from your home by only one man, with one truck?

 

27. The kitchen has EVERYTHING and all in the right place.

 

Although many of these kitchen gadgets are made in China, they are only available to the wealthy, if at all.  They do not have access to American products.

 

SHOPPING

 

1. Costco!!!!  Beautiful foods.  Never would we find an assortment of fresh fruit cut & ready to eat.  American jeans for under $50?!

 

2. SAS shoes!!!  Super comfortable American made shoes for under $400.

 

3. Yard sale!  People actually sell their things on the front lawn.

 

4. Stuffed animals for children on the American market meet American safety requirements.  Material on the ones sold on the Chinese market cannot be trusted.

 

5. Things here “Made in China” are of better quality for export than found in China.

 

6. Nordstrom’s Rack!!! Shoes at such discounts.

 

FOODS:

 

1.     Souplantation—Unbelievable variety and quality of food all you can eat.  No limits on dessert!

 

2.     Mexican food is new.  Never had it before. Chicken tacos are good.  We ate too many!

 

3.     Western food DOES taste good after all.  Soooo different than in China.

 

4.     Chinese dim sum (Hong Kong style) was a new kind of food.

 

5.     Baskin Robbins 31 flavors are so good.  Too many to choose from.

 

6.     Target—things we have never seen or did not know what they are for.

 

7.     Dollar Store:  school supplies so inexpensive

 

8.     Disneyland!!! More than we imagined.

 

ACTIVITIES:

1. You can go for a walk in Peter’s Canyon wilderness park minutes from the house.

 

2. Picnic and music in the park.  Chicken salad on lettuce leaves, with cut watermelon to enjoy.

 

3. Model homes have large kitchens and wire shelves in the closets.

 

4. Car lots have a variety of used and new cars. Car pool lane. Toll road. Sun shield for the car. Everyone MUST wear seat belts in the car.

 

5. Camping—never been camping in a tent & white water rafting. A machine to blow up the air mattress.

 

6. Church—traditional one so quiet and calm

 

7. Church—modern charismatic so loud and festive.  The Bible seems simple there.

 

8. Unbelievable that China is across the ocean from Mission Beach, San Diego.

 

9. The animals in the San Diego Zoo live in luxury.

 

10. Beautiful university campus at Cal State Fullerton and UC Irvine.  Spacious, clean, with beautiful gardens

 

Seeing our world through our visitors' eyes, made us aware that we take so many things for granted.  It made us grateful for the lifestyle we have and also happy to share it with them.  This was (12 years ago).

 

      Since that visit in 2008, young Alex has moved to the USA as a student, graduated from high school, college, and graduate school.  He is now living the American life.  Mom and dad still live in China but have traveled to the USA and countries worldwide since.  This trip was their first out of China.  We were happy to be their host.

Aidan and the Grocery Cart

 

    When our grandson Aidan was only a few months old, I had the pleasure of caring for him one day a week to give his mother a day for herself and I would have him all to myself.  He was quite a joy to have and such fun to be with.

          When he was about 2 years old during his day with me, we went to the grocery store to buy pectin as I was planning to make fresh strawberry jam.  At the grocery store, there was a grocery cart that was fashioned with a yellow car that a kid could ride in while the cart was pushed in the store.  Of course, Aidan was thrilled to get in for the ride.  Unfortunately, I found the pectin immediately and went to the check-out counter.  This was a very short grocery trip.

          As I headed for the check-out line, Aidan yelled, “Back, Back, Back.”  I thought he wanted me to push the cart from the back.  He kept saying,  “Back Popo…”  I finally figured out he wanted me to go back to the grocery aisles so he could have a long ride in this cart.  I was already at the check-out so I promised him I would give him a ride in the parking lot.

          Once outside, I cruised the huge parking lot 2 times with Aidan in the grocery cart/car.  After the second time around, I returned to my car to go home.

          As I encouraged him to get out so we could go home, he kept saying, “No, no, no…”

          Just then a young man, about 20 years old, drove up into the parking space next to me.  As he got out of his car, a friend came out of the store and the two guys stood next to the car talking.  Meanwhile, I could not get Aidan out of the “car” cart so I bent down and whispered in his ear, “Those guys are waiting for their turn to ride the cart.  Time to get out and let them have their turn.”  He understood the principle of “taking turns.”  At that Aidan, willingly got out and got into our car. We drove off.

          Fortunately, we didn’t stay long enough to see those “guys” take their turn in the grocery cart car.

Popo Marcia

6/24/2010

WE ARE ALIVE!!!

This episode is the aftermath of being rescued from our plane crash on our Zambian trip in 2000.  We were rescued from the jungle and brought to safety in the Kasanka National Park.  (Other episodes are to come.)

The four Vogls, (Rich, Marcia, Charles, James), Pilot Robert, and the German  doctor would go on with Edmond, the park ranger, to Kasanka National Park Camp for the night.

Before leaving the site of the rescue plane the doctor said to me, “How is the pain?”  He was asking about my crushed foot.

“I really don’t feel any pain.”

“If you would like, I could give you a shot of pain killer to deaden the pain.  Would you like that?”

“I think I will do fine.  Motrin will be enough.” 

“Here’s some Motrin to tie you over,” he said as he put his medicine bag on the parked plane.

We rode for two hours for 60mph on the dark Zambian road. Because of construction, this road was down to one lane in places with headlights coming straight on.  Fortunately there was very little traffic and the careful driver avoided any crash. We started at 7 PM on a paved road for the first hour and a half. The last 45 minutes were on a bumpy trail road through the forest. It was like the earlier ride but this time in the dark. 

Edmond radioed ahead for the cooks to make a hot meal and prepare 6 beds.

We arrived at the Kasanka National Park where a hot spaghetti meal was waiting for us. 

“Come sit down at the campfire,” was the invitation as they served us punch.  “The meal will be ready in a moment.” 

We were escorted to picnic tables under an awning and served a delicious meal.  It was sure good as we were starving and tired.  The staff at the park had prepared the individual cabins which were spread over the circular campground.  Each cabin accommodated 2 people and the toilets were outhouses separate from the cabins. 

“Mom, can you walk to your cabin? James asked.  “We can carry you.”

“Let me help,” Robert said as he rushed over.  The two locked arms forming a “chair” for me to sit on so they could carry me across the field.

We were all assigned and retired for the night.  Rich and I settled in for the night.

            “Oooooow,” I wailed.  The pain in my foot was increasing.  “I can’t sleep!” I said as I rolled side to side on the bed.” It was about 2 AM.

            “I’ll get the Motrin.  Where is it?”  asked Rich as he rummaged around through our things.

            “Do we have water?” I asked.

            “No.”

            “How am I going to take the pill?”

            “Can’t you just swallow it?”

            “Ooooow” I cried with tears streaming down my face.  The Motrin wasn’t helping much.

            About an hour later, “Rich, I have to go to the bathroom!”

            “Can you walk?  How about hobble?”

            “I’ll try but it’s not easy.”  I hobbled to the door of the cabin.  Once outside, we had a plan.

            “I don’t think I can carry you but I’ll hold you up,” Rich said as he put his arm under my armpits to brace me.  We only got 10 feet out.

            “Maybe I should carry you on my back like a kid?” as he bent down so I could climb on.

            As I leaned over to put my arms around his neck, “Ha ha ha, hee, hee hee,” I started to giggle.  Then Rich started to giggle.  Before we knew it, we were both on the ground laughing uncontrollably until our sides ached.

We were laughing under the clear African sky.  The stars were shining over us. WE ARE ALIVE!  WE ARE         ALIVE!!!  The tension of the day finally lifted and we were filled with silliness laughing loudly. The bright moon lit up the campus.  The crickets were chirping.  The cool night breeze was wafting over us.  We felt such joy.

 Eventually, I crawled to the outhouse and back with Rich at my side also giggling and laughing.  We lay on the bunks trying to sleep but I would start giggling and we would start all over again. The pain didn’t abate but neither did the laughing.

We didn’t get much sleep laughing until 5 AM.

White Water Rafting 1989

These were the days of paper maps, AAA Campground Guide, and no cell phones.

        Summer of 1989 I (Marcia) took our children on a white water rafting trip.  I was a Girl Scout leader at that time and found a company on the American River near Sacramento that the Girl Scouts used and approved.

         Each of my 3 children brought along a buddy and the seven of us would go on a 6-day trip in my blue Volkswagon Vanagon.  I invited my god-daughter Carrie Ann, then a college student nearby, to come along to be a buddy to Charles, my eldest son.  James invited Lars, and Stephanie invited Nancy.  I would be doing all the driving since none of the others were either old enough or could.

         We packed our gear in our VW Vanagon and a car-top carrier.  I had my own tent and each pair of buddies had a two-man tent.  We packed sleeping bags, clothing, food, camp stove, dishes, and standard camp gear.  This was going to be a long 2 day drive each way so they all agreed to share the front passenger seat at intervals when we made rest stops.  Whoever was in the front, had control of the radio and cassette player.  Yes, they brought their cassettes.  The others had to listen and wait their turn for their favorite music.  They had their favorite snacks and drinks.  Since I was the only driver, we would stop almost every 1 to 1.5 hours for a rest stop, seat change, and potty break.

         Our first overnight stop was at Pine Lake campground.  We found the campground deserted.  There were no other campers there. The lake was only a puddle due to the drought in California.  

We all piled out of the van and surveyed the place.

“Do we have to stay here?”

“No one else is here!”

“It’s HOT!!!” one complained

“Let’s go someplace else.”  They all agreed.

         They studied the maps and campground book so we decided to move on to another campground outside of Fresno.

 CRUNCH!

“What’s that?!”  I asked?

Everyone got out to look.

“You backed up into a dumpster!”

“The back gate is smashed!”

“Try opening it.”

“It’s stuck.  Can’t open it.”

         The top of the dumpster was just below my rear window and not in the view of either side mirror. I did not see it but felt it.  The van was dented enough to disable the back door but the car was unharmed.  Now we would have to pack and unpack all our gear through the side door and over the backseat.

         As we drove to Fresno, we could not find the campground we thought we were headed for. 

 “Let’s just go into Fresno and go to a motel for tonight,” I suggested. “It will be cooler and I don’t want to wander around a campground in the dark.”

 They all protested.  “No.  We have all the stuff.  We want to camp. That’s what we came for.  We can do it.  It’s still light.”

 The children kept studying the map.  They read the map and as I drove.  The sun was setting and I really didn’t want to set up camp in the dark.  We finally found a campground, Milliton Campground off Lake Milliton.

 “How are you folks this evening?” the Ranger greeted us at the gate.

“There are 7 of us with 4 tents.  Do you have a campsite available?”

“You’re in luck.  The last one is a large site.  Follow this road to the left until you come to the restrooms.  It is just next to the restrooms.  How long are you staying?

“Just for tonight.”

“OK.  Enjoy,” she said as we drove off.

 With flashlights on, they searched for the site while I drove slowly.  We finally settled on what we thought was the site as it was large area not too far from the restrooms. It was too dark to check out this lake.

         In the dusk, the kids set up the tents while I fixed supper.  It wasn’t easy as it was getting dark and we had only a Coleman camp lantern.  We were all hungry enough so whatever I prepared was good.  We turned in for the night.

         At dawn, we discovered we were not in a campsite at all.  We were in the middle of an open space leading to the restrooms! 

 We broke camp to move on.  After a breakfast of muffins, juice, and fruit, we repack all the gear through the side door lifting everything over the back seat.  This is the first awkward repacking so it took a while to figure out how everything would fit from this angle.  Fortunately, Lars and Carrie were tall to reach up to the car top carrier without much trouble.

         Off we went to Sacramento to the white water rafting campground.

When we arrived at the campsite in the afternoon, we were greeted by the crew.  There was a section reserved for us as I had made arrangements.  We were given instructions and time to set up camp.  Dinner was served by the camp staff.  I was relieved to not have to cook.

 After-dinner campfire time was spent with the other guests.  They were adults and our group was the only one with kids.  Well, Carrie Anne was 23, Charles 16, James and Lars 14, Steph & Nancy 11, and of course adult me.

         The next morning, after breakfast served by the camp staff, we all assembled near the river to receive safety instructions and boat assignments.  Our group was divided with the other adults so that the boats would be balanced in weight.  The girls were together and the boys were in another boat, each having other adults.  We all wore life jackets, given a paddle, and were told to tie down any hats, jackets, or shoes.  Each boat had an oarsman who sat or stood at the back to steer the rubber boat and give instructions when to paddle and on which side.  We all face forward as he called out over us.

         First, it started on smooth waters.  We were told to paddle gently.  As we came upon rapids, the oarsman shouted “paddle, paddle, paddle!” and we would all dig in.  “Stop! Rest.”  would be the next command. 

As the rapids got rougher we paddled harder, screamed louder, and got wetter.  The weather was beautiful, the sun hot, and the water cool.  After about an hour of excitement on the river, we stopped for lunch provided by staff who met us on the banks. This stop included lunch, a short rest, and potty stop in the woods.

 After lunch, we returned to the boats for the trip back to the camp.  Somehow, the river moves in loops because I could not figure out how we kept going downstream and end up at the same place.  At least that was my memory.

         At one point the rapids were quite large.  The boys’ boat went over the rocks first. 

 We were bracing ourselves for our turn over the rapids.

“Somebody fell out!”  Carrie Anne yelled.

“It’s James!”

As his mom, my heart pounded.  My thoughts ran, “Will he drown?  Is he hurt?  How will he get back in the boat?”

 Then we saw his oarsman throw him a life ring and pull him in.  Despite all my trepidation, James thought it was the most exciting thing that happened.

         At the campground, we cleaned up and had dinner with all the others sharing the adventure of the day.  We learned that since the weather was so hot, the dam was opened for greater water flow to the electric plant downstream to meet the demand for electricity.  That’s why we had good swift rapids.

 Later that evening I asked one of the oarsmen, “How do you do this with Girl Scout troops with little girls?  As it is you balanced us with other adults.” 

He told me in a low whisper, “Each oarsman can maneuver the boat downstream by himself without any paddling.  We just yell “paddle, paddle, paddle” to make it exciting and the kids think they are really controlling the boat.  All the coaxing and advance prepping was to make it exciting.”

         We spent the night there and the next day headed for the Milliton Campground outside of Fresno where we had been two nights ago.  This time, we knew the way and arrived in daylight.  The ranger recognized us and assigned the same campsite.  We were able to find it this time.  We checked the lake to discover it too was very low.  Over dinner, we relaxed and told stories about our adventure.

 The next morning, we packed up and headed back to Santa Ana stopping every 1.5 hours for driver breaks, potty stops, and seat/music changes. 

         When we got home, I had to figure out how to fix the van back gate. 

         That would be another story.